Ask the Countries!
by Yano'sMemories
Summary: Hosted by yours truly, this is the perhaps over-used show, Ask The Countries! Have a question you've always wanted to ask? Well, you can ask them anything! Do you see that rating? M? Know what that means? The sky's the limit! Not only that, but how would you like to be up on stage and ask them personally? It's all possible, so come in, and join Ask That Country!
1. Chapter 1

Yano'sMemories walked onto the stage, her long dirty blonde hair put up in a tight French braid. Her brown eyes skimmed over the crowd, smiling as best as she could. There were so many of them, she nearly fainted. Taking a deep breath, she cleared her throat, silencing those who were still chatting. All heads turned to her, and she smiled wider. She took a deep breath, wringing the corner of her loose fitting shirt.

"Hello, and welcome to Ask The Countries, with me, your hostess, Yano'sMemories!" Her voice boomed through the theater, and some people blinked in surprise at the strength of it. For a girl with such a shy face, she sure did have one hell of a voice. Yano'sMemories's smile grew. The slightly surprised look on their faces was wonderful, and egged her to continue. She took a step forward.

"But really, why such formality? Here, everyone knows everyone, am I right?" A few nods. She chuckled, feeling her nerves slowly start to calm themselves down.

"Well, then you may all call me Yano. Now, enough about me, on to the people you _want_ to hear about!" Laughter came from a few tables, polite clapping from others. Yano nodded, than took a side step, swinging her hand towards the curtained stage behind her.

"The countries!" Clapping erupted through the audience as the curtains rose, revealing several males and a few females. Yano smiled at them, and a few of the people on stage smiled back. She motioned for the first, a man with an all-too-familiar cowlick and glasses, to step up.

"Alfred F. Jones, Arthur Kirkland, Matthew Williams…" As Yano called their names, they stepped forward. Some confidently, some shyly. Soon, everyone's names had been called, and they were all standing where everyone could see, blinking as a spotlight came over them. Yano smiled, turning back to the audience.

"And more to come of course! Now, for the rules!" A few groans came from the audience, but Yano silenced them with a glare. She looked over the audience again, before smiling and continuing.

"Well, this show is rated M, which, as many of you may take a guess of, means there aren't very many limits to your questions. The sky's the limit, you may ask the stupidest," She paused, winking towards the audience. "Or the _dirtiest _of questions." Behind her, some of the contestants shuffled their feet, glancing at each other. They couldn't protest though, they HAD offered to do this in the first place. No one wanted to seem rude, and didn't want to anger Yano.

"So for your questions, there are no rules!" A round of applause and laughs came from the audience, and Yano held a hand up to silence them. "But, there are still rules." She cleared her throat, than pulled out a list.

"First off, please only use human names. If you only know their National Names, don't fret. We'll call both before they come on stage. Second, please make it _clear _who you're asking. We won't want to confuse anyone. Third. Well, this one needs some explaining. When asking your question, you will be coming on stage, so make sure to be loud and clear! If needed, a microphone will be given. You may ask as many countries as you want, but there's a limit to ten questions per country. Lost? Well too bad, because that's really all the rules I have." She laughed nervously. She turned to look at the countries, who'd all pulled up a chair to sit in. They smiled nervously at her, and at the audience. Yano mouthed something to them, before turning back to the audience with her arms spread out wide. "Well, let the questions fly!"


	2. Chapter 2: Star!

A hand shot up, and Yano smiled, pointing towards them.

"Yes, you, with the face and raised hand! Come on up!" The person blinked, then smiled back as they bounded up onto the stage, standing next to Yano. Yano handed her a microphone, and she thanked her before turning towards the countries. Yano laughed, patting the volunteer on the shoulder. "Hey now, there's no rush! Your name?" They looked at Yano for a moment, before chuckling and nodding. "Oh yeah, it's Stardust98." Yano smiled, greeting her.

"Well, I'll just call you Star. Now, ask away!" Star thanked Yano again, before turning to the countries, and pointing to Alfred.

"Alright, Ameri-" Yano gave her a stern look, and she furrowed her eyebrows before realizing she was using his National name. She chuckled, still smiling as she corrected herself. "I mean, _Alfred_. Is Nantucket your erogenous zone? Can someone touch it, just to make sure?" Alfred looked at her, then up at Yano. He laughed airily as he nervously covered Nantucket with his hands.

"Erm, yeah. It's my e-zone. I'd rather not have it pulled, thanks." Next to him, a certain Brit raised his eyebrow. "What's with all this shyness all of a sudden? My, my, it does suite you if I do say so myself." Alfred glared at Arthur, who smirked, before taking a sip of his tea. Yano looked between the two, nudging Star with her elbow. "You can always pull it, just to see what would happen." She whispered to her, before smiling wide and laughing. "Okay, so, any more questions?" Star nodded, turning her head towards Romano.

"Anyway, Romano, do you like turtles?" The Italian raised his head, frowning with a face of slight disgust. He shook his head vigorously, earning a whine from Antonio, who was, unsurprisingly, sitting next to him. "No, I hate them. Stupid little scaly bastards." Antonio looked at Romano, jutting out his bottom lip. "Ah, but Lovi, their so cute! How could you ha-"

"They are NOT cute! And don't call me that tomato bastard!" Romano shouted, snapping his head towards the other. Yano watched them go on like that for a bit, before nervously laughing and smiling at Star. "I think that means no." Star looked at her a bit, then at Romano, before nodding.

"I have another question." Yano shot a quick glare at Romano and Antonio, silencing them. Romano though, continued to grumble for a bit. Yano looked him up and down, before turning back to Star. "Then ask it!" Star smiled, looking at Antonio.

"Antonio, are you a pedophile?" The Spaniard blinked, looking at Star blankly for a bit. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at her with a hurt expression.

"No senorita! I would never do anything to hurt those little kiddies, what would ever make you think like that?" Romano huffed, glaring at the wall. Yano looked at them, taking a step back slightly. She made a mental note to keep her non-existence children away from Romano and Antonio. Star looked at her, confused for a bit, before clearing her throat, letting everyone know she still had more to ask. Yano motioned for her to go ahead.

"Alright, this one goes to The Bad Touch Trio." Antonio stopped pouting for a bit, while Gilbert and Francis smiled, straightening up a bit. "Yes?" They all said in their respective languages. Star looked at the three of them, smiling. "What's the craziest thing you've ever done?" The three looked at her, then broke into wide grins.

"Name just one zhing? Mon cheri, we've done 'undreds!"

"Nein, ZHOUSANDS of crazy zhings."

"Si, oh, do you remember that one time?"

Francis and Gilbert nodded, and the three were laughing as they started having a private conversation (Somewhat, their voices were rather loud, so everything they said was heard by the audience.) over all the things they'd done together. Yano tapped her foot, than clapped her hands, shocking the three into silence. "Hey now, she still needs her answer, so if you three are finished with your little pow-wow, we can continue with the show." Gilbert and Antonio looked over at each other, before shrugging. Francis sighed, smiling as he leaned back in his chair.

"Well, zhere was zhat time." Gilbert and Antonio looked at him. "Which one?"

"The one where we all decided it'd be magnifique to pay a little…visit to Artie's 'ouse?" Arthur glared in Francis's direction, about to smack him upside the head and protest against the hated nickname everyone seemed to give him. Yano rocked back and forth on her heels, hands behind her back as she waited for the three to continue with their story. Laughing for a bit as they all remembered, The Bad Touch Trio nodded, turning to Star. "Well, we all went to angleterre's home, unfortunately, during his magic practice time." Francis started, and Gilbert nodded, grinning wide, showing off his pearly whites. "Ja, and zhen we all barged in, and you should've seen the look on Artie's face!" He chuckled. Antonio chuckled with him for a bit, nodding as he took over. "Oh yeah, then we all went and volunteered to be subjects for his spell!" Gilbert and Francis looked over at Arthur, who was smirking a bit himself as he remembered.

"He turned us into newts." The three said in unison. Yano raised an eyebrow, looking over at the three men. "And you got better?" Arthur's head snapped up, as he detected a slight reference, and his smirk grew wider.

"Well played love." Yano blinked, looking over at Arthur, and smiling, cheeks going a bit red. British accents always got the best of her…and who didn't like being called 'love'? Star looked between the five of them, Yano, Arthur, and The Bad Touch Trio. She cleared her throat, grabbing their attention again.

"Well, I think that's an answer. Er, I still have one more though." Yano nodded, as the other countries grew silent with the audience, waiting for her to ask. Star's eyes moved to smile at Gilbert. "And lastly, Gilbert, who is the second most awesome nation?" She held up her hand as he opened his mouth to speak, grinning widely. "And you can't pick yourself." Gilbert's smile turned into a slight frown, and he slouched in his chair slightly, scratching his chin.

"Huh, you got me zhere blume. Hmmm…" He looked up at the ceiling, than scanned the other countries, before shrugging. "Besides ze awesome me, I'd have to say Alfred." He said lazily, shrugging again with his eyes closed. At the beginning of the line of seated nations, Alfred laughed. "Dude, of course I am! I'm the hero!" Yano smiled, having expected nothing more form the boisterous American. She turned her head towards Star.

"Well, thank you for your questions! If you ever want to ask or do something to the nations, you can always raise your hand again." She smiled, leading her back to her seat, before remembering something. "Oh, and by the way, I really envy your writing skills." Star furrowed her eyebrows, looking up at Yano.

"Huh?" Yano laughed, smiling wide. "I've read a few of your stories before, their really good. I especially like 'I'm a GIRL?'" Star smiled back, thanking her before going back to her seat. Yano smiled again, turning to the audience. "Alright, any more questions for our lovely nations?"


	3. Chapter 3: Tomato!

Yano noticed another hand raised, and she waved them up. Smiling wide, they came up, standing next to Yano. They took the microphone, turning a bit to face both the audience and the countries. "G'day! I'm XxBuonoxTomatoxX, but you can just call me Tomato!" Yano smiled, greeting Tomato, before asking her to go ahead with her questions. Tomato smiled, bouncing a bit in excitement as she fully turned towards the countries. She pointed at Alfred.

"Alfred; what gave your people the idea that Australians ride Kangaroos to school? Seriously, where did _that _come from?" Alfred sat up, eyebrow raised a bit as he laughed. "Idea? Dude, it's a fact! You Australians don't have cars, so you ride those trusty kangaroos of yours!" Yano frowned at him, before bending slightly to take off her shoe, and chuck it at his head. "Now Alfred, don't be rude!" She said, as she shook her head and walked over to the groaning American to retrieve her shoe and put it back on. "Just be thankful I don't wear heels." She muttered to him, with a slight smirk. Tomato stared at Alfred a bit, who was rubbing his forehead, before she turned her gaze to Kiku. "Kiku, what's your favorite anime?" The Japanese looked up, dull eyes hooded a bit as usual. Yano looked at him as well, eyebrow raised. Now this, she wanted to know as well. Kiku thought for a bit, silent before finally answering. "Werr, as you know, I created anime, hai? So…it's rather hard to choose just one…" Yano's eyebrow stayed raised, as she opened her mouth to speak. "What about Hetalia?"

All heads snapped her way, eyebrows either furrowing or raising. "What?" Yano looked over the countries, before grinning. "You guys don't know Hetalia, even you Kiku?" They murmured a bit, shaking their heads. Kiku leaned forward a bit in his seat to look at Yano. "What is it?" She laughed, smiling wider.

"It's a show about you guys! It has video taped basically everything you people have done…" She wiggled her eyebrows. "_Everything._" A few looked mortified, others nervous, and some were simply freaking out from this news.

"What? Everything we do? Does that mean-you frog! Now they knew how you proposed to me!"

"Mon dieu! Zhis is marvelous, wait...does that include zhose times zhat I…?"

"Ja! All of our training meetings too…ITALY! I blame you!"

"Ve~? But doitsu!"

"This is just terrible! Do you gits not know the concept of _privacy?!_"

Yano watched as everything turned into chaos, and she sighed, shaking her head. It was almost as bad as a UN meeting. She looked over at Tomato, who didn't seem at all fazed by the chaos. Clearing her throat, Yano let them continue to go on like that for about two more seconds before she screamed at them. "**HEY!**" All their heads, again, turned to her, and their mouths immediately closed. Yano smiled with a fake sweetness at them. "Thank you. Now, Kiku, you still haven't answered Tomato's question." Kiku was even more hesitant this time, before forcing a polite smile.

"Werr, sorry for the deray, but if I had to choose, I'd say Breach….and Naruto." Yano sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Typical…" She muttered, before smiling again and turning back to Tomato. "Alright, anything else?" The girl nodded, and grinning mischievously, she turned her focus to Romano. "Lovino, you _**must**_be honest, do you love Antonio?" Romano's face was red, and he gave Tomato a glare, while Antonio smiled, happily waiting for the answer. Romano was silent, slouching in his chair, hiding his face. "Yes…but don't tell anyone you cagna!" He mumbled, hopefully quiet enough that Antonio couldn't hear. Yano smiled, looking at Antonio as he basically tackled Romano, going on how he always knew it, and how he loved his 'little tomato' too. Tomato's grin was as wide as possible, now she knew she was right. She glanced over at Yano, before looking back, this time at Matthew. The Canadian blinked in surprise, looking at either side of him, before glancing over his shoulder to see if someone was behind him. Was she looking at _him? _Tomato smiled, giggling a bit at his actions.

"I see you! Oh, and, do you like Gilbert?" Matthew blinked again, opening his mouth, and then closing it. Some of the other countries were mumbling about how there must've been something wrong with Tomato, because there wasn't anyone in the chair she was looking at. Yano cleared her throat, glaring at those countries. Realizing she truly was talking to him, Matthew hid his face behind his polar bear, his face growing red. His curl went a bit…squiggly, as there really were no better words to describe its current condition. Even though one couldn't see it, Matthew had a small smile, as he looked down at the ground. "W-Well….y-yes. I…I do kind of like Gil...he's really nice, and actually sees me, e-eh?" Yano couldn't help but aw at Matthew's shyness, he was adorable when he didn't even try to be. Gilbert, who had heard the mention of his name, furrowed his white eyebrows, leaning in his seat to look at Matthew's red face.

"Huh? What'cha say birdie?" Matthew buried his face into his polar bear some more, mumbling a 'nothing. The bear looked up at him, blinking in the light. "Who are you?

"I'm Canada." Yano chuckled at them, before turning to Tomato yet again.

"Well, there's your answer. Any more ques-"

"Francis, I have two questions for you!" Tomato interrupted Yano, to which she frowned at, before giving a fake smile. Francis looked up, smiling warmly at Tomato. "Oh, oui? What is it mon cheri?" Tomato pointed to his hair, a certain portion of it, near the bottom right section.

"How do you get your hair to do the pretty little curl thing near the bottom?" Francis blinked, looking down at the curl, before chuckling, tucking it back into his hair, only to have it pop back out. "Oh, zhat zhing? It's rather annoying actually, it just appears. I don't do anything to put it zhere." Tomato nodded, frowning slightly at the answer, before immediately going on to her next question. "Have you ever done a threesome with the rest of your trio?" The members of sad trio looked at Tomato with a blank look on their faces, before Francis smirked, Gilbert grumbled, and Antonio whistled, looking at the wall. "What do you zhink mon chère fleur?" Yano smirked, biting back a laugh, before it erupted out, and she bended over slightly, holding onto her stomach as she howled with laughter. Behind her, some of the audience snickered, murmuring to each other. Gilbert and Antonio looked away, as Francis continued to smirk, chuckling a bit. Tomato yet again praised herself, for guessing correctly on something yet again. Yano continued to laugh, so she decided to just go ahead and ask her last question. She looked at Antonio, whistling to get his attention. "Antonio, did you do 'things' and you know what I mean, to Lovi when he was a kid?" Next to him, Romano was about to protest against the nickname he hated so much, but was silenced as Antonio let out a sound that was mixture of a squeal and a squeak of surprise and hurt.

"Why does everyone think I do those kind of things to kids? I never did anything!...unless pulling a curl every now and then counts." Yano finally stopped laughing, wiping her eyes as she chuckled a bit more, before taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh, looking at Antonio. "I think that counts too Antonio, seeing what it does." The Spaniard frowned, still looking rather hurt before Tomato laughed, giving Yano back her microphone before leaving the stage.

"Okies, that's all I've got…BAI!" She called back as she waved. Yano smiled, thanking her for volunteering to ask, before turning to the audience again. A few of the countries behind her were mumbling to each other, wondering if this had really been the best idea, and whether or not they should leave before things got more…personal, if they hadn't already. "Well, any more questions? Come on, come on, don't be shy now!"


End file.
